Good morning people… Told you I’d be back today. I’ve got a lot on my mind…

Is it me or don’t you just hate it when people ask you “What do you want?”

Apart from “Who’s your daddy?” that has to be the question I hate being asked the most, even though I ask other people a lot.

Usually, if a friend talks to me about a problem, I’ll listen. I’ll listen to your problem, and then I’ll ask you a million questions. Talking to me is like going to see the doctor… an amebo doctor. The many questions are just so that I can fully understand the problem, including the problem’s history. I don’t want to be the one to advise you to poison your husband, only to find out later that he cheated on you after months and months of you starving him of sex.

I digress…

After the many questions, I typically ask, “What do you want?” or “What would make you happy right now?”

I hear all sorts… it could be;

“I want to get back together with my ex” or

“I want to get a Masters Degree in Finance” or

“As a first lady, I want to be able to make an impromptu speech without causing grievous bodily harm” etc.

People always have ready answers, stating exactly what they want. Me, I never do.

Let’s take this job thing for instance…

I’ve worked before and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Of course, there were bad days, horrible days even, but I loved it. I loved constantly being challenged, meeting targets, learning new things, and walking around the office pretending like I don’t know my skirt is too tight…

Anyone I have ever worked for will tell you that I am NOT a lazy person. I know I’m not a lazy person, but the truth is, right now I want a steady income more than I want a job. And, unless I’m ready to be someone’s mistress, a 9 to 5 job seems like the only way to getting that steady income.

So when people ask me what kinda work I want to do, I used to say I could do anything, as long as the bills get paid. But I noticed that an answer like that makes you sound unserious and ambitionless… so I changed it. Now, I tell people that I want to do environmental work. I give a short speech about my time in Health, Safety and Environment as an industrial trainee in an oil company, how much I benefited while working there, and how I developed a strong passion for environmental protection etc etc…

But do you really wanna know the truth?

I don’t give a rat’s ass as to how my farts contribute to the holes in the Ozone layer. I really don’t care.

I know what I want. I have a million things on my bucket list, things that I still have to do/achieve… but most times I’m too ashamed to say it because the things I want don’t sound like what a normal 30 year old, single, unemployed woman should want. So I keep them to myself.

My fear is that, I’ll be so busy trying to do what a normal single 30 year old should be doing, that I’ll neglect what I REALLY want to do. Then ten years later, I’ll hate my kids, hate Tu Face (their baby daddy), I’ll hate my job and I’ll hate everyone around me because I didn’t do what I REALLY wanted to do.

*sigh* I’m just rambling today people…

As you were.


Categories: Uncategorized


Agbons Afegbai · May 7, 2013 at 10:10 am

Do what you want NOW, once the kids start coming, you’ll have to wait till they’re off to boarding school before you can take a breather. Do you NOW

    admin · May 7, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    The scary thing is that you know exactly what you’re talking about…
    I’m trying babes but the bills gotta be paid! 🙁

Ga · May 7, 2013 at 12:44 pm

You got that right.. Worse question ever.. Lie lie question..what I want is;not to b asked what I want :D. Whos your daddy??
Nice 1.. Its well

    admin · May 7, 2013 at 7:17 pm

    Lol@ lie lie question… It doesn’t always have to be that way though. If the person feels safe with you and trusts you, he/she will be honest and tell you what they want.

SL · May 7, 2013 at 1:18 pm

Bring in the day to day income and work towards what you really want to do, one day at a time, that’s all anyone really can do. You’ll look back one other day and be grateful for how far u’ve come… and as for how u’re kinda contributing to the depletion of the ozone layer… hehehehe (one of those things I’ll keep to myself 😀 )

    admin · May 7, 2013 at 7:20 pm

    You are so right… it’s the day to day income I’m working on now 🙁
    And as for the Ozone layer, it’ll be fine… as long as I keep off the beans 😀

Obi10Kenobi · May 7, 2013 at 4:58 pm

Ramble of life, but true for all of us. Love my job, but hate the politics so bad that somedays I collapse into a 2hour daydream of being unemployed and… (ok make that self-employed) free to chase my dream. So I can relate, but u see that whole business of paying the bills? Wicked wicked stuff…

    admin · May 7, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    Lol@ Ramble of life… I admire anyone with the discipline to wake up early every friggin’ day, to go to the same friggin’ office and sit with the same friggin’ people… EVERY DAY!!!
    Because of those bills, the mistress option is becoming more and more tempting *smh*

dr c · May 7, 2013 at 7:21 pm

so…. you haven’t aswered the question. WHAT DO YOU WANT? (heehee)

    admin · May 7, 2013 at 7:25 pm

    Darling, I’m working on that… I should get back to you guys tomorrow. It’s not a very long list 😀

Savvy · June 28, 2013 at 10:27 am

I fear I can truely relate to this piece. What you want & what needs be done, rarely share the same slot in life. It can be depressing, motivating at other times but in the end…

Just find some calm & truely work through all the lovely chaos in your head & I bet someday soon…I’ll be calling in for a loan. :-p

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