Welcome to my blog!!!! I’m very pleased you took the time to stop by.
I’ve always been the kind of girl to put my thoughts down on paper. Sometimes, they are quite clever and fascinating, sometimes they are funny, and at other times, when I go back to read what I wrote, they make me question my sanity. Little did I know that a long time ago, somewhere in the universe, the stars had aligned and my blogging fate had been sealed… I was destined to bitch and whine on the internet!
You see, around the same time my parents were adopting me, Mark Zokerburg Zucckeborge Zuckerberg’s mum and dad conceived him. Fast forward many many years later to when he invented Facebook and the status update question, “What are you doing?” which later became, “What’s on your mind?”. Suddenly, I had an avenue through which I could share with my friends all the crap that crossed my mind on an almost daily basis. Some of them, my friends, encouraged me to start a blog, some (like me) inwardly questioned my sanity and others, the sensitive ones who are easily offended, simply “un-friended” me.
It took months and months to pick up the courage to finally get this going. I had 4.72million reasons not to start this blog. First of all, in this day and age of easy internet access, every Tom, Dick and Babatunde is a certified blogger! I felt that one more blog by an attention-seeking wanna-be writer in the Blogosphere would be one blog too many. Secondly, I didn’t think I was interesting enough. I don’t watch the news because of how utterly depressing it is, so I’m always the last to hear about whatever Dame Patience boko haram has bombed. It took a while before I realised that ‘PIB’ was not a new position named after Bill and Monica. That’s just me… the most adventurous thing I do is dream about doing adventurous things. So what was I going to write about?
Lastly, I was scared (still am) that I would lose a few friends. Why? Well, because my honest-to-God opinions would be put out there. They’ll know what I think of their fear-inducing eye-shadow, or their low-life boyfriend… or maybe even get to find out the kinds of things their father says in his sleep 😉
Alas! I decided, if Tom, Dick and Okechukwu can do it, why can’t I??
So here I am at last.
Bloggerring 101 says to always have a topic or main focus in your blog. I don’t have one. On this blog, we (yes, “WE”) are going to talk about everything. We’ll discuss whatever is going on around the world, there will be some self-help how-to lists that I don’t really expect you to take seriously. There will be stories to tell, most of them true, others embellished. I’m hoping that people will write in so that I can share their letters (if they want). However, on slow days, I will most likely just make something up. Something juicy and scandalous, then I’ll put it up here like it’s a letter from a reader. So any time you see one of those ‘Dear-Readers-I’m-a-lesbian-crack-addict-who-is-pregnant-with-my-brother-inlaw’s-baby-so-do-you-think-I-should-tell-my-best-friend-that-she-has-body-odour?’ letters, just know I made it up. Finally, depending on my mood, and the time of the month, there will be a lot of ex-bashing.
As I have a tendency to ramble, I tried to keep this brief and to the point so I’ll end now. Besides, I can sense one or two people nodding off already. Once again, I’d like to thank anyone reading this, including the people I threatened and those I paid. Thanks for stopping by. Please visit again… and again.