We need to talk…

Are you a young girl or woman looking for a way out of your relationship? Are you fed up with your boyfriend/lover/husband and you don’t love him like you used to? Is your inner hoe begging to be set free… free to hoe about? Or maybe you just miss being single?

Well, you’ve come to the right place…

At Ngor’s Solutionz, we take all the stress away by giving you unhealthy but effective relationship advice. Our methods may seem questionable, but we guarantee you fast results. Most of our surviving clients worldwide are currently enjoying their single status or better relationships. The ho’s have become commercial and turned their businesses into an enterprise.

So, why don’t you follow these steps below to rid yourself of that man TODAY!!!

Step 1. Do not shower, brush your hair, or brush your teeth today.

Step 2. Do as much housework as possible so that you are dripping with sweat and you smell ripe.

Step 3. Cook with lots of fish, garlic and onions and make sure you have pieces of meat and/or fish stuck between your teeth after dinner.

Step 4. By 8:45pm, immediately you hear the ref’s whistle go off for the ManU vs Real match, walk into the living room and stand firmly in front of your man. Ensure that you are obstructing his view of the tv completely.

Step 5. Tell him the 11 dreaded words; “Honey, I think you and I need to have a talk”. Then, using words and expressions that will help show the meat in your teeth from step 3 above, proceed to tell him about your fears concerning the both of you, then demand to know exactly where your relationship is headed.

We at Ngor’s Solutionz guarantee that, dead or alive, you will be out the door in no time and your inner hoe will be free to hoe about!!!

TIPS AND WARNINGS:

– Before carrying out this exercise, make sure there are no sharp items within his reach.

– Be fast on your feet. Quick reflexes will help you successfully dodge any flying objects such as remote controls, slippers, mobile phones etc that will most likely be hurled at you.

– For added effect, and faster results, during your speech about the relationship, cry till snot runs down your nose and chin.

Please leave a comment below. We would love to hear your success stories. If the hospital you end up in doesn’t have internet access, you can send a text describing your personal experience. May the force be with you Good luck!!!

Thank you for choosing Ngor’s Solutionz!!

Warning: If your man is neither a ManU fan or Real fan, and couldn’t care less who wins tonight’s match, the steps may not be as effective. 😀

4 thoughts on “We need to talk…

  1. Which kind life! Seriously looking for trouble with this one. Mean while what self respecting football fan would watch Real vs Man U in seclusion? Even the looney in love would have a hard time with this one. Ngozi dear I love the fact in this piece of madness a few reasonable women will get the drift on reverse psychology but unfortunately the real farm implements will get their time out of the tool shed…
    Either way, everyone gets something to learn here…good one dearie.

    • Hmmm… I didn’t think of that (guys not watching a match in seclusion). Have you ever considered being a consultant? We need such insight at Ngor’s Solutionz.
      As for the farm implements (LOL), na them sabi. I already feel like I’m walking a tight rope because of such implements. If they don’t get it, they should REALLY text us from the hospital :p

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