Usually, at the start of a new month, I like to talk about the highlights of the past month, then mention a few things I’m looking forward to in the new month. However, I sat in front of my laptop yesterday morning, thinking about April and I got stuck…
I was wondering, when am I ever gonna be able to write “Happy New Month people!! Last month was just great!”? When is last month going to be “just great”?
Yeah, I know if I think hard enough, I can come up with a few good things that happened in April… but if I have to think so hard, how “good” are those good things? I’m alive, and I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for family as well, especially for my siblings… and that should be enough right? *sigh!*
Apart from that, brethren, April, like January and February, sucked big time and I’m glad it’s finally over. I made a mistake I’m still paying for and it cost me a friendship… it was a one-sided friendship actually, one of those friendships that I know deep down I’m better off without, but it hurt all the same. So I still wake up every day and I have to remind myself that I did the right thing. What I’m not sure of is if all the drama was worth it… 🙁
Then, I also realized that my blog, and my life in general, serves the purpose of making some people feel better about themselves. Does it give you a hard-on to read about my crappy life? Do your nipples get hard every time you read about how broke or unemployed I am? Do you sit in your house/office/sty and read my posts and say to yourself, “Bad as e bad, my life still better pass Ngo’s own”?
If you do, then screw you very much!
I’m happy for you that you have a roof over your house… mine was leaking and is now being renovated.
I’m delighted that you’ve got your life together… I’m broke and unemployed, but I’ve got my pen. And I’m making magic with this pen!
I’m glad that you’re a strong, self assured woman who never ever bangs the wrong people and all the men who come into your life treat you like a queen… good for you!
I’m pleased that your boyfriend was created on a Sunday, moulded with great care and precision from God’s shit and he can do no wrong… again, good for you!!!
I’m ecstatic that you’ve discovered a cure for AIDS… you can send it to my ex, cos I don’t need it.
I don’t tell you these things so that you can judge me. I tell you so that you can laugh with me to my face or laugh at me behind my back… even if you’re not going to encourage me, don’t ever, EVER use it against me. If you see me somewhere and I’ve got sweat on my forehead, it might be because the weather is hot or maybe I’ve been walking under the sun or I’m probably just nervous about something. Don’t assume that the sweat is rain that fell through my roofless house!!!
And if you guys have people like that in your life, get rid of them. Be happy for them, celebrate them, congratulate them… but get rid of them or else when you listen to them long enough, you start having thoughts that will eventually mess up your hustle…
The funny thing is, some of them mean you no harm… but it really doesn’t help to have them around.
Anyway, we’re in May and I’ve got soooo much to look forward to this month. Two of my really REALLY close girlfriends are getting married this month and I honestly can’t describe how excited I am about that. In the first wedding, I’m actually gonna be a bridesmaid!!! The second wedding is in Port-Harcourt and Lord in heaven knows that I plan to go BUCKWILD that weekend!!! It’s going to be so much fun.
Happy New Month people!!!