Good morning people!!
Yeah, its been a while… I have good news and I have bad news. Or should I say, I have good gist and not-so-good gist. Why don’t we start with the good, fun gist ok?
Last time we spoke/blogged/commented/wharever, was on the 1st when I wanted to wish you guys a happy new month right? Well, I had crazy plans for that weekend and my blog post on Monday was going to be really cool. The weekend started when I attended Uti’s birthday party on Friday the 2nd… it was out of this world! I was the only other non-celeb there… the other non-celeb seemed to already know a few people so I was really the only “un-known”. But, being the darling that he is, Uti made sure I didn’t feel out of place. He sat me next to two really cute guys and told them to take care of me.
And I didn’t disgrace you guys too… there were so many music and Tv people there. I’m not ashamed to admit that I couldn’t name half of them. I knew mostly the music people. Everyone else was from Africa Magic. And even though I was honestly celeb-struck, I had to act like they were people I saw everyday… you know… like it’s no big deal… like me and Lynx and Tiwa Savage usually “hang” every Friday night.
I had way too much to drink though… Uti’s Martini people conspired with the devil to destroy lives that night. Or maybe it was just my life… I don’t know, but they made sure there was plenty to drink. And usually, when I’ve had a few, I start to tell all my best jokes. Then when I run out of jokes, I develop a sudden urge to pole-dance 😀
I’m just kidding…
I didn’t pole dance, but I was relaxed enough to not be so shy and have a good time. Sadly, the only picture of me that came out in Bella Naija was one career-ruining picture in which I was laughing my signature Hyena-in-labour laugh. I had my mouth wide open… so wide that you can see down my gullet and see remnants of the amala I had for dinner :’(
Eventually, I left and only managed to get a few hours of sleep before waking up to prepare for Taiwo’s wedding. I had only met Taiwo twice before… she’s close friends with my cousin, and we hung out just once. So I was pleasantly surprised when, months ago, I got an invite to her wedding. No need to go into details about how I almost got into a physical fight with my tailor over my aso-ebi… I needed it to turn out perfect! In the end, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted, but it was close enough.
Brethren, if I was star-struck the night before, then I don’t know the words to describe what I was at Taiwo’s wedding. Did I mention that Taiwo is Dbanj’s sister? D’banj as in The
Toto Kokomaster himself…
I. HAD. A. BLAST!! The only musicians not there that day were MJ and The Chipmunks… everyone else was present. I met this guy called Kehinde… my cousin introduced me to him and I thought “oh… cute lil boy” and moved on. I’ll tell you about this later…
Anyway, after most of the old people had gone, the wedding turned into a mini concert… different artists performed and in the middle of one of the performances, people at the back started screaming. Vector was on stage then so I knew the screaming was definitely not for him. My first thought was boko haram and whether or not I would be able to run in my heels…
But it wasn’t those bastards. It was Don Jazzy… he walked in like a bawse, wearing white and looking very VERY delicious. I swear it was like the crowd was hungry and he showed up with his disciples carrying five loaves of bread and two fishes. Yeah, I know the excitement was more about the fact that he had a thing/issue/whatever with D’banj… don’t know, don’t care. We were excited either way. He’s on the big side… a lil bigger than what I imagined, but you know what they say; it’s just a lil’ cushion for the pushin’ 😉
Both of them did a few songs together and took a million pictures and the parry went on… My cousin (the chief bridesmaid) organized a few ushers and threatened to kill anyone of them if our glasses ever got empty. I think they took the threat seriously because they made sure we had wine… and lots of it!
And before you ask, the answer is “No, I am not an alcoholic!” 😉
The next day, I heard the song “Obi mo” for the first time. It was by some dude called K-switch. I fell in love with the song and left it on repeat the whole day and after a while, my cousin got sick of hearing it. It was THEN she told me that the Kehinde guy she introduced me to is the K-switch who did the song!!!
I shoulda kissed that niggas feet when I had the chance… it’s still my song of the moment 😀
That’s all brethren… I gotta go write out part II of this shit… the not-so-good gist :'(