Mornin’ people!!!

Ok… so after my last post, some of my guy friends almost shot me. They came to the defence of their fellow man and now a few of them think I’m an evil witch who should be burned at the stakes. So I decided to tell you the other part of the story so that you’ll see that I’m right and he’s wrong!

And here we go…

I admit that with the “Do you still want me to toast you?” question and disclaimer in mind, the fire had cooled significantly on my part. Still, we continued to talk normally over the next few days. But that was the week my baby bro was coming into town… I had so much running around to do, and I was always so busy. He even complained a bit about not being able to see me again anytime soon, since my brother was going to be taking up all my time for the next couple of weeks. I couldn’t give a definite answer then so I told him we would “see how things go”.

The night before my brother came in, dude called three times and I missed his calls. I guess maybe I shoulda called back, or sent a text like I usually do (apologising for having missed his calls), but I didn’t. I didn’t because the devil told me not to… ( ._.)

People, you won’t believe that it was the last time I heard from the dude till almost three weeks later.

I’m sure some girls here have had a guy go AWOL on them before. It could be a guy you’re just getting to know or even a guy you’re dating and suddenly, he just stops; no more calls, no more texts, no mails, nothing. Initially you’re pissed but then you start to get a little worried. What if he’s sick? Or what if there’s a problem in his family? What if his liver and one of his lungs are stuck to the front tyre of a BRT bus? So you pick up the phone, make the call and ask, “Are you ok? How come I haven’t heard from you?”

Then he replies and says, “Nothing”. No reason, no explanation, no apology… just nothing. When that happens to you a few times, and you know how hurtful it is, the next time a guy stops calling, you tell yourself that if they pull him out from under the BRT bus alive, and he regains full use of his fingers, he can dial your number. Till then, you’re not putting yourself in a position to hear, “Nothing” again.

But after three weeks, I kinda start to get worried, so I sent him a text. It was a very short, simple text… in the text, I asked when he would be done with the books I lent him (did you really think I was going to ask if he was ok and find out the location of his liver and right lung? *rme*). He didn’t reply the text, so the next day I finally called.

Brethren, I used to think that “Nothing” was the worst I could hear after three weeks of silence. Well, “Nothing” would have been better than the “Who is this?” he asked me.

Laughter tore my belle… I was laughing so hard at myself. I told him who it was and he said his phone got missing stolen eaten lost two days after our last conversation, so he no longer had my number. Then he asked why I hadn’t called since, if nothing else to find out if he was ok. I was in so much shock all I could reply was “nothing”.

The next day, he calls me up and says he wants to stop by and see me. I’m not having that so I tell him that I’m out and I won’t be home till much later. He says he’ll come over whenever I get back. Later, he calls and this time, I’m really not home. I’m on the next street buying suya for me and my cats. I don’t tell him that though… I make it sound like I’m out somewhere with friends. Thank God for the suya malaam’s radio that provided background music.

Dude gets annoyed and accuses me of avoiding him. I’m this close to saying, “Doh!”

Then he starts again with the “Why didn’t you call me?” interrogation. He more or less demands that I tender an apology. I almost told him that I will apologize when God installs air-conditioning in hell. Instead, I said that, out of respect for him and our mutual friend, I would rather not get into a confrontation, but that I don’t appreciate him putting all the blame on me.

He concludes by declaring that he can’t deal with my “drama”. Then he adds, “I’ve tried and tried but obviously, you are not interested in what I’m about. I’m not in the habit of chasing shadows or wasting my time. I like to call it as I see it so it’s best if we continue this thing on a strictly friendship level and forget about anything else”.

And that’s how it ended folks.

Please answer the short questionnaire at the bottom of the page. Thank you.

  1. Who do you think is right?

a)      Her Royal Crankiness

b)      Dude

c)       The 72 cats


  1. Who do you think should be president?

a)      Her Royal Crankiness

b)      Ngozi

c)       Ngo

Categories: Uncategorized


Chunky! · April 12, 2013 at 10:48 am

Dude!!! 🙂

    admin · April 12, 2013 at 10:52 am


SageJnr · April 12, 2013 at 8:32 pm

Am answering only d 2nd question tho. All of the above.

    admin · April 13, 2013 at 8:10 am

    That’s why I like you… you always think of your safety first 😐

dr c · April 13, 2013 at 3:31 am

Excuse my french; but WHAT THE FLYING “&%$#????? is the guy even for real? he must somewhere in his deluded wanker mansion of a brain think that he is some kind of hot property on the show “Bachelor”. Please tell him to go take a piss in his nearest drinking glass, drink it, pee again, drink it and continue this exercise until it hopefully clears the horsepoo out of his brain. TRIED AND TRIED MY FOOT. Ngo; you are totally in the clear. if he so much as calls you again, just lemme know. I know ‘people’. #excusemewhileivent

    admin · April 13, 2013 at 8:19 am

    OMG!!! You know EXACTLY what got to me… the “I tried and tried”!!! My jaw literally dropped to the floor at that.
    It was crazy; your phone got lost and you didn’t have my number, but you know where I live or you coulda sent a mail. I’m done making up excuses for some of these non-WAEC passing candidates. Apparently, the guys are still sticking together so… :p

Joey · April 13, 2013 at 1:40 pm

So let me get this straight, you went out with a dude who you immediately hit it off with, then he asks an awkward question (a question which could have been turned into a joke). You guys ‘got over’ it and continued to talk normal, then your bro was coming into town (not yet in town oh), making any further dates difficult. Then the night before your brother finally arrives, he calls 3 times and doesn’t get a response and you don’t even accord him the decency of a call back. Consequently, he loses his phone and so you don’t hear from him and you don’t care (which is understandable, because you were quite frankly no longer feeling the dude).

Wait…wait…wait, to cut the long story short, a dude you were so obviously avoiding (and you both knew that for a fact) decides he doesn’t want to waste his time chasing shadows but still proposes that you remain friends is the one with a ‘deluded wanker mansion’ for a brain.

I’m not sure I get where you’re coming from Ngo and Catherine. I don’t.

    admin · April 13, 2013 at 9:02 pm

    Ok Pope, he’s right and I’m wrong.
    I’m tired…

Obi-10 · April 15, 2013 at 9:50 pm

I’m kinda sorry about my comment in the first post, dude is obviously a couple carry-overs past not having a clue. Complete meltdown at the end there. What I don’t get is the meltdown tho, like why? Is it something u told him? or he was just delusional? Amazing characters u run into really, Ng. I’d like to here the guy’s version of events.*snigger*

    admin · April 16, 2013 at 7:20 am

    Lmfao!! After reading your first comment, I rushed to read your second comment… Obinna, you just made my day!!!!
    “Couple carry-overs past not having a clue”… that’s just evil! Girls know by now that if a guy wants it to happen, he will make it happen. I don’t think he really wanted it to happen, and that’s ok, but why make it my fault?
    The meltdown was because he finally figured I was avoiding him…
    Phone gets missing for three weeks, then we talk and all of a sudden you wanna stop by my house?? You knew where my house was the entire three weeks your phone was missing, so why all the sudden ginger to come after I called you?? So of course I don’t wanna see you!!!

    His version will probably end with “I tried and tried” as well… whatever!!!

Obi-10 · April 15, 2013 at 9:55 pm

PS: It’s your blog, so u r right, even when you”re wrong! *Musa voice* Abi u no knoow!
Ngo for President!

    admin · April 16, 2013 at 7:25 am

    I was thinking the exact same thing… I SHOULD be president!!

Savvy · April 30, 2013 at 6:59 am

If a guy back in the days were to tell a chic, some relation were coming, will be busy, yada yada….what would your girlfriends say….that’s 1

2, Would you head there uninvited when quote unquote, HIM never toast you?

Then 3, if babe say she lost her phone, how come its true but because na guy, you won’t atleast see him, note if its a new phone before you nail him to the wall?

Yes you can let fly the dildo now!
But I don’t think you’re wrong, I just wonder why you’re more interested in giving credence to the saying, “good chics love bad guys!”
You know best!

    admin · April 30, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    1. I’ll wait till the relation comes first and see how things go…
    2. Amadioha forbid… go there for what?
    3. He’s not like that… he wouldn’t lie about his phone. I believe it got missing really.

    Apparently, the bad guys are saying and doing all the right things. I believe that even good guys, when they meet someone they are REALLY interested in, they will know what to do. Then it will be left for her to decide… I made it easy enough. Should I still toast myself too?

    Anyway, we’re friends now so it’s over…

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