Good morning people.
I sliced off four of my toes yesterday… ( ._.)
Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit. What happened was, I was trying to get on a bus and I cut myself on the jagged rusty edge of the door. So, as we speak, there’s a bus somewhere with a piece of
smooth velvety caramel skin dangling from the bottom of the door. Believe me when I say, it hurt like a MOTHA!!! Being a true aje-butter, I yelled “Ouch!”. But no one paid me any attention. The other passengers completely ignored me. So I sat quietly behind the driver and fought hard to keep tears from falling (like a brave little soldier) 🙁
Maybe it was because I yelled “Ouch” and not “Ewo!!” or “Yekpa!!”. My “ouch” probably made it seem like an unserious injury. Blood started to trickle down my foot and into my shoes. Then I tried to put pressure on the wound with my hanky. When I brought my hanky back up, covered in blood, everyone, including the driver, started chorusing “sorry” and “doh” and “kpele”. Some offered me tissue and hankies. A lady even suggested that someone get pure water so I could wash my foot.
By then, I was annoyed… You can’t imagine how much I wanted to tell them to kindly shove their “sorries” up their asses. I know ‘sorry’ wouldn’t have fixed my skin or made the pain go away, but it would’ve been nicer to hear it BEFORE I lost 3pints of blood.
Then, on my way back, in a different bus, I was unlucky enough to sit beside this tall slim dude. He looked quiet and trouble-free so I said “Good morning” and took the seat beside him. He replied saying, “Welcome my sister”. His reply was a tad bit over-enthusiastic I thought, and his smile was too wide but since he didn’t have RAPIST written anywhere on his forehead, I stayed. Just as the bus started to move, the dude got up, adjusted his pants high up his waist and turned round to face the back of the bus.
Then he began to preach.
I didn’t mind that he was preaching… it was quite fun listening to him give incredible testimonies. My favourite was the one about a girl who had been bedridden since she was “wan years of hage”. She was now 28 and still very sick. The doctors had given up, she was sent home, she even died, yadda yadda yadda, he prayed for her and viola! she came back to life and was healed. I also didn’t mind that he was shouting at the top of his voice… he had to so that the people at the back of the bus could hear him (it was a big bus).
What I had a problem with was the
drizzle shower rain downpour tsunami of spit that he released upon my head during the sermon. Because I was right next to him, he was literally standing over my head and showering me with spit blessings from above…
It was at that point, squished in a rickety bus with all sorts of people with hair wet with spit, that I became overwhelmed with self pity and I started to cry. I cried for my lost skin… I cried for the job interview that ended up being a complete waste of my time… I cried cos I was afraid that the preacher’s spit would seep through my empty, hairless scalp and get into my brain… I cried because Destiny’s Child might never get back together. I cried for everything under the sun. It was just one of those days… 🙁
Don’t worry, I didn’t disgrace you guys… it wasn’t a war cry. I wasn’t wailing or anything like that. The tears just kept falling silently.
I’m not writing this to get pity cos I’m feeling much better now!!! Just wanted to gist you about how horrible yesterday was…
Besides, it’s all part of my crap and you guys gotta read it :p
Have a great day people!