Good morning people.

I sliced off four of my toes yesterday… ( ._.)

Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit. What happened was, I was trying to get on a bus and I cut myself on the jagged rusty edge of the door. So, as we speak, there’s a bus somewhere with a piece of smooth velvety caramel skin dangling from the bottom of the door. Believe me when I say, it hurt like a MOTHA!!! Being a true aje-butter, I yelled “Ouch!”. But no one paid me any attention. The other passengers completely ignored me. So I sat quietly behind the driver and fought hard to keep tears from falling (like a brave little soldier) 🙁

Maybe it was because I yelled “Ouch” and not “Ewo!!” or “Yekpa!!”.  My “ouch” probably made it seem like an unserious injury. Blood started to trickle down my foot and into my shoes. Then I tried to put pressure on the wound with my hanky. When I brought my hanky back up, covered in blood, everyone, including the driver, started chorusing “sorry” and “doh” and “kpele”. Some offered me tissue and hankies. A lady even suggested that someone get pure water so I could wash my foot.

By then, I was annoyed… You can’t imagine how much I wanted to tell them to kindly shove their “sorries” up their asses. I know ‘sorry’ wouldn’t have fixed my skin or made the pain go away, but it would’ve been nicer to hear it BEFORE I lost 3pints of blood.

Then, on my way back, in a different bus, I was unlucky enough to sit beside this tall slim dude. He looked quiet and trouble-free so I said “Good morning” and took the seat beside him. He replied saying, “Welcome my sister”. His reply was a tad bit over-enthusiastic I thought, and his smile was too wide but since he didn’t have RAPIST written anywhere on his forehead, I stayed. Just as the bus started to move, the dude got up, adjusted his pants high up his waist and turned round to face the back of the bus.

Then he began to preach.

I didn’t mind that he was preaching… it was quite fun listening to him give incredible testimonies. My favourite was the one about a girl who had been bedridden since she was “wan years of hage”. She was now 28 and still very sick. The doctors had given up, she was sent home, she even died, yadda yadda yadda, he prayed for her and viola! she came back to life and was healed. I also didn’t mind that he was shouting at the top of his voice… he had to so that the people at the back of the bus could hear him (it was a big bus).

What I had a problem with was the drizzle shower rain downpour  tsunami of spit that he released upon my head during the sermon. Because I was right next to him, he was literally standing over my head and showering me with spit blessings from above…

It was at that point, squished in a rickety bus with all sorts of people with hair wet with spit, that I became overwhelmed with self pity and I started to cry. I cried for my lost skin… I cried for the job interview that ended up being a complete waste of my time… I cried cos I was afraid that the preacher’s spit would seep through my empty, hairless scalp and get into my brain… I cried because Destiny’s Child might never get back together. I cried for everything under the sun. It was just one of those days… 🙁

Don’t worry, I didn’t disgrace you guys… it wasn’t a war cry. I wasn’t wailing or anything like that. The tears just kept falling silently.

I’m not writing this to get pity cos I’m feeling much better now!!! Just wanted to gist you about how horrible yesterday was…

Besides, it’s all part of my crap and you guys gotta read it :p

Have a great day people!

Categories: Uncategorized


Naga · March 20, 2013 at 9:22 am


    admin · March 20, 2013 at 6:50 pm


Savvy · March 20, 2013 at 9:38 am

I really felt you at destiny’s child. Its a monumental shame Beyonce has that what’s her name come over her on stage these days & won’t let her consider a come back with her old crew. Such is life…it goes on any way.

Just kidding dear…it was a horrid day I concur. Just more character building stories to share with your kids when they come along. If you start feeling dizzy & find your pale, just holla ok. I got a pint or two of blood with your name on it. Soldier on love…the force is strong with you. ({})

    admin · March 20, 2013 at 7:05 pm

    Haha!! I agree… it was the Destiny’s Child part that hurt the most :p
    I don’t think I need blood sha. If I don’t die during my period, this one can’t kill me 🙁 (tmi right?):D

chinwe eke · March 20, 2013 at 1:38 pm

As totally messed up ur day was, iT kinda was quite eventful and somewhat funny. Nywys, some days r like dat. Hpe ur feet is feel berra..

    admin · March 20, 2013 at 7:01 pm

    Awww…. thanks darlin’. Yeah, it’s a bit better now. I just have to be careful with it.
    We can laugh about it now, but yesterday wasn’t funny at all 🙁

Karl Drogo · March 21, 2013 at 1:46 pm

Only Ngozi can start u off rolling in laffter (literally)..and the next minute, ur going “awwwww”..:( u’ll be alright love. Brilliant write-up !!

    admin · March 23, 2013 at 9:47 pm

    Lol! Thanks so much sweetie… yeah, I’m much better now 😀

Obi-10 · March 21, 2013 at 11:27 pm

Lol, Pele dear, episode of the crazies huh. Welcome to the wacky gidi experience.
Had to chuckle at empty hairless scalp, we have to hang before ur hair grows up oh, so I can get a few shots for u to autograph… hugss

    admin · March 23, 2013 at 9:46 pm

    Nooooooooooo!!!! The last thing I need is someone trying to ruin my political career in future with a picture of my ogor.
    But tonight would’ve been the perfect night though for our hanging out… and I’m missing it 🙁

Don Chi-Chi · March 23, 2013 at 10:43 pm


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