Happy New Year!!!!

I’m not sure if people still make New Year resolutions anymore… there’s really no point is there? By the middle of February, you’ll be back to your old ways: back to eating like a pig and not working out, back to being your ex-boyfriend’s booty-call, back to spending money on stuff you truly cannot afford…

Nevertheless, that shouldn’t stop us from making an effort to better ourselves in any way we can, right? At times, we make New Year resolutions in the middle of the year. Something happens in our lives that pushes us to make certain changes in July or even September. I’m going to tell you about the two life-changing things that MTN (mobile telecommunications company) did for me last year, that I have carried over to the New Year:

  1. MTN made me take CPR classes. Have you noticed how MTN connectivity is fastest only when your creditors are calling? Or how excellent reception is when your girlfriend is on the phone to let you know the results of her pregnancy test? Service is never shaky during those times. At other times though, when it seems you need them the most, like when you’re being robbed and you need to call one of those emergency numbers, or when you’re in the face of a medical emergency, their service is CRAP! So I learnt CPR. The next time someone is suffering from a heart attack or choking on a bone, or even robbing me at gun-point, I can administer CPR and not have to rely on MTN…
  2. The second thing MTN did, which is the most important thing and the actual focus of today’s post, is the cheap Family & Friends call-rates. We’re allowed to register 10 numbers/people under ‘Family & Friends’ who we can call at significantly reduced rates. You can spend ages on the phone with any one of these people and not dent your pockets!

With or without MTN, I believe we all have a top-10 list. We also have a top-20, top-30, top-73 etc.

Imagine that, God forbid, the Grim Reaper shows up at your door step today and says it’s time to go and meet your maker. Luckily for you, he’s in a rare fine mood because the Grim Reapress let him have some this morning, so you’re able to convince him to let you briefly say your goodbyes to the people you love. Where do you begin? This is where your top-10/Family and Friends list comes in. These are the ones you call, worry about, make sacrifices for, go out of your way to see/visit, the ones you can’t stay angry at for too long. However, if your list is filled with wankers who don’t give a rat’s ass about you, then your goodbyes are going to be wasted!!

I have used to have a bad habit of making up excuses for people. Sometimes, the excuses are plausible: “I’m sure he/she cares… He/she is just too busy with work and I don’t expect him/her to take out time from his/her very busy schedule to call me back”.

Sometimes reasonable: “I understand that my girlfriend can’t help me out even though we’ve been friends for eons… besides, everybody has problems. The only reason she helped boyfriend number 67 is because, unlike boyfriend number 66, this guy is the one”.

Sometimes, just plain ridiculous: “My boyfriend really loves me. He loves to see me laugh and have fun… especially when we play his favourite game called ‘Guess Ngozi’s ATM Pin’”.

I could go on and on.

So I decided to do some serious editing. I deleted, rearranged, added and afterwards, I found that there was space for people who sometimes call, just to know how you’re doing. There was space for people who notice that you’ve been a bit quiet on social media and inbox you to find out if your keypad is broken… or people who notice that you’ve lost a lot of weight and ask with genuine concern if you have AIDS. Now, I’m extremely proud of my Family and Friends list.

I realize though, that having someone in your top-10 list is no guarantee that you will make their top-10. Being related to someone is also not a guarantee that you will make any of their lists. For example, if, like me, you owe one/all of your siblings large sums of money, it would be unrealistic to demand a position on any list other than the “List of People To Never Ever Lend Money Again” list. So, what the hell am I trying to say? The MTN spin was just to make the post longer, but I’m sure you get the message. It’s not really about lists; it’s about getting our “people priority” right.

Some time ago, a friend of mine lost a friend to Leukaemia. He heard from a mutual friend that she had died months before then. He was genuinely shocked cos he had no idea that she was sick… he described what a great gal pal she was, how she used to send him a “Happy New Month” text on the first day of every month.

Naturally, I felt sorry for him and tried to comfort him the best and only way I know how. And as we put our clothes back on (just kidding! Jeez… calm down), a lot of thoughts filled my head and I began to wonder…

If she was such a great gal pal, how did he not know that she was sick? And why did it take him almost three months to find out that she was dead?

When last did he ask her “How’re you doing?” and wait for a real reply?

And, finally, Where did I leave my bra?           

This year, we need to FOCUS ON THE PEOPLE WHO REALLY MATTER, especially family!!! I learnt that last year, but I made it a New Year Resolution because it’s one of the things I plan to work harder at it in 2013. I’m not saying we should neglect everyone else and care only for the people who care for us… far from it!! Just don’t make the wankers your main focus.

So, this year, take time to visit friends you haven’t seen in a long while, pay your brother back the money you owe him and for once call your dealer up, not to ask for anything, but just to find out how he’s doing… 😉

God bless!


Ps- I told you I could ramble 🙁

Categories: Uncategorized


Nick · January 3, 2013 at 5:10 am

True story, u did touch on a serious issue of life. And by d way stop advertizing our business Ngozi, dnt worry I’ll try callin u more now, OK

    admin · January 3, 2013 at 5:45 am

    I’m the one who should be calling more… you tried last year. Thanks dear.

jon pol · January 3, 2013 at 6:13 am

Wow! You wrote this long post just for me?! Okay relax now, I’ll call you in the morning.

    admin · January 3, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    More like an epistle…
    Even if you don’t call me, when Chidube has a cell phone, he will call me :p

Joey · January 3, 2013 at 7:07 am

Well done of finally starting the blog.
And thanks for letting me know what the real use of MTN F & F is. Usually I add a girl I’m hoping to have meaningless sex with, make her feel loved….and after I get blown off officially, I delete and add the next babe who’s going to blow me off (the wicked kind). I’ll make sure to add more important people pple, like my creditors and my next of kin, so when the grim reaper comes, I can make a conference call and make sure my next of kin collects my money. (˘̯˘ )

    admin · January 3, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    Well, I guess you can always reserve ONE spot for the meaningless-sex girl… you’re going to be changing it only twice a year anyway so it’s really no big deal 😉
    Anyway, I just realized how smart I am… One of my creditors is also my next-of-kin!! So if the Grim Reaper comes, I’m good. Talk about killing two cockroaches with one slipper!

      joey · January 3, 2013 at 3:08 pm

      no, no more. My new year resolution is to become celibate (it still counts as a resolution if you don’t exactly have a choice, yes?). I’m all about my paper now

        admin · January 3, 2013 at 5:42 pm

        We share the exact same by-force resolution my dear… I’ve gotten rid of my own meaningless sex girl boy too. And it’s not just because he doesn’t have the paper 🙁

Kiki · January 3, 2013 at 7:52 am

LOL! Playing let’s guess Ngozis ATM pin.

    admin · January 3, 2013 at 11:47 am

    My dear, I still prefer that game to the other one: “Forge The Daddy’s Signature”… 🙂

SageJnr · January 3, 2013 at 9:24 am

Dis post made me realize i av taken a lot of pple for granted. I’ll try and do beta.

    admin · January 3, 2013 at 11:46 am

    I know I’m not one of those people… so I really don’t know what you’re talking about :p
    Still, I’m glad it made you think.

ETY · January 3, 2013 at 10:31 am

Three months to find out that she was dead? Nd i tot my ex was wicked. lol

    admin · January 3, 2013 at 11:44 am

    LOL!!! Ety o! I know the ex… yes he was wicked 😉
    I was quite shocked my dear. I think Blackberry was also to blame… they only used to “ping” each other.

babie dugos · January 3, 2013 at 11:41 pm

ummmmmm, ngozi u cn ramble sha , u defi kow ow 2 go on n on n on……good thing, very helpful 4 d depressed /. miserable ppl
congrats gal n m glad u r puttn ur rattles / jokes 2 good use

    admin · January 4, 2013 at 2:25 am

    Ada!!! Thanks love… you think I can ramble? You shoulda seen the original version of the post, before editing 🙁

orbz · January 4, 2013 at 2:38 am

Ngozi dear, first of… I’m glad you finally decided to start this blog cos you really are gifted. This is a very intersting write and we should all think on it!

Keep it up!

    admin · January 4, 2013 at 7:32 am

    Orbs!!!! Thanks so much dear… it’s been a while. Yeah, it’s a lesson we all have to learn sooner or later. Happy New Year!

Savvy · January 5, 2013 at 11:26 pm

You’re crazy Ngozi! A happy new year to you love. Good read!

    admin · January 6, 2013 at 5:29 pm

    Thanks sweetie!!… And I wish you a happy New Year too. Muah!

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