For David… Happy New Month people!!!

Good morning beautiful people!!

No, I’m not dead… yet. I just chose to be quiet for a while because I had hoped that the next time you hear from me, I would have very good news. I didn’t wanna bore you with the same kinds of stories because I noticed that this was slowly becoming a job hunting website. But the truth is, that’s more or less what my life has been about recently- job hunting. So, here we go;

In the past two weeks, I’ve had THREE job interviews, two of which went very well. Let’s call them companies, A, B and C.

After the interviews, I got called back by A and BC can like to jump in a lake for all I care. I had to take two tests for A; one test was easy, the other test made me question my educational history. It was hard as a mofo’…

Then I took three tests for B. All three tests went quite well. I guess I could’ve done better in some areas, but I consoled myself with the kind of competition I had. The lady who sat beside me (good looking, MSc holder who was writing the same test) asked me to please help her open Microsoft Word and PowerPoint.  At first I burst out laughing cos I thought she was just kidding around to try and lighten the mood since we were all so tense… it was no joke people.

Anyway, A called me back. I got the call late Friday afternoon asking if I could come in and repeat the second test (the one in which I exhibited a staggering degree of illiteracy)… Imagine my excitement!! OF COURSE I could come in! She said she understood how late it was and actually gave me the option of taking my time and coming in on Monday to write it. But Monday felt too far away so I told her that I could be there within the hour…

I should’ve just taken my time like she suggested cos it was after I ended the call that I realized I had absolutely nothing to wear. All my decent “job interview” clothes were in the washing machine (I was still in my friend’s house then) and there was no way my favourite pair of “job interview pants” would dry before I was ready to leave the house. So, I had no choice but to wear an old pair of trousers that belonged to my friend. Now, my friend is much slimmer so it was a battle to squeeze into those pants. They were so tight, you could see the shape of my ovaries. I ended up looking like Wizkid (tight pants, low crotch) but with a nice blouse and nice heels. I had to make up and fix my hair in the cab on my way.

I got there with time to spare. Surprisingly, I was calm and quite confident… sitting in the lobby, watching CNN. Needless to say, the second time around I killed that test. One of the examiners looked over my shoulder and even used the word “Impressive”. Even though I could only take little steps (cos of how tight the pants were) I walked out of there happy and confident.

The whole time, I was thinking how proud you guys would be of me. I was already constructing a blog post in my head… telling you guys the embarrassing story of how I borrowed my friend’s tight pants, looking like a 70’s reject, and you guys would laugh about it and then I would finish the story by telling you that I got the job… and it would all be worth it. Then, I would even upload a picture of myself on my first day of work in my new office…

But alas! I still await the call…

Later that evening, B (the other company) called  and asked me to come in for a final interview the next day (being Saturday). Of course my clothes had dried by then so I went for that interview looking much better. It didn’t matter how I looked because the interviewer literally broke me. It was a tough interview and at a point, the main interviewer flung my CV aside and said that I was boring him. I was sitting there confused as hell… No one had ever used the word “boring” to describe me before. Eventually, he said I had nothing to offer and asked me to leave. Before I left, I told him that if I didn’t have anything to offer, I wouldn’t have gotten to the final two candidates. It was down to just me and one other girl who has a Master’s degree and enough work experience.

I was almost out of the building when his secretary came after me and said that her boss requested that I wait in the reception. I had to wait for the other girl to be interviewed before going back in. When I entered the room, he asked why I smile a lot. I’m smiling because that’s the only thing I can do to you that wouldn’t get me life without parole, I thought. Instead, I told him that smiling would be better than crying… :’(

Anyway, he apologized for being so harsh the first time and we started the interview afresh. It was much better the second time. He said I was/am a very bright person, but then mentioned a few concerns he had about hiring me. In the end, they promised to get back to me.

But alas! I’m still waiting for the call… any call. Both of them are good companies, both of them serve free lunch.

I’m staying positive though.

My friends, especially David, complained that I’ve been quiet for too long…  so I decided to just tell you the story so far. And I’ve also gotta wish you guys a Happy New Month! I’ll let you know as soon as the call comes through…

In the meantime, have a blessed August! 😀

25 thoughts on “For David… Happy New Month people!!!

  1. That’s godd, Ngor. I’m proud of you.
    This job search thingy is a real biatch. In almost every country on this pathetic planet. I’ve done interviews in Nigeria and England, and I know how it feels.
    I have to applaud you for not attacking the male interviewer in company B. Some interviewers can be such jerks. I mean, even if they wanna drill you and see how you react in such situations, that sort of mental play is immoral. 🙁
    I hope you get good offers from both companies. Keep trying and prepping yourself.
    On a final note, I want you to know that in 2011, I did 7 final stage interviews for jobs and scholarships, and I got none. Xmas 2011 was the most depressing time of my life. But the very 1st attempt I made in 2012 got me a scholarship to UK. 🙂

    • Wow Ify!! Your story at the end is like one of those testimonies in church that you hear and you think “yeah right!”… it’s that crazy. But it’s also very very inspiring! I’ve surprised myself and my siblings by remaining positive this whole time. Something has gotta give eventually right?
      Thanks dear :*

  2. Oh my God… I’m short of words. First of all I want to thank God for keeping me alive to see this day, my english teacher for teaching me to read, etisalat for access to this blog and Ngozi for her wonderful writing skill… Lol. Here’s hoping and praying for that phone call to come thru… And thank u for letting us into your life via ur posts….

    • L.M.A.O!!!! Seriously??? I laughed like a mad hyena when I read this!
      It’s good practice though, for when you REALLY start winning proper awards… only a matter of time.
      Thanks so much dear 😀

    • Thanks so much Mariam… you know how far 😉
      Yeah, I’m actually doing great… I’ve got lots of stuff to look forward to. Have a great month too darling!

    • BAYBAY!!!! Amen oooohhhh!!! Awon bigs gehs like us… you know we can’t do less than million dollar jobs 😉 Lol!
      I’ve missed you too luv… if it gets too bad, I’m coming to PH for a week’s hols. We can harass cab men together 😉

    • LOL! Yeah babes… your sis is alive (just barely). You know me and Ama got plans for the weekend 😉
      It’s something to look forward to at least…
      How you doing sugah?

  3. Hello Ngozi. You’re too funny! The shape of your ovaries ba? Lool.

    Anyway, keep positive, that dream job with free lunch and all the extras is coming.

    • Hi Jiddah! Yeah, I’m managing to stay very positive, which is quite unlike me…
      Thanks for visiting here. And AMEN to that free-lunch job!!! 😉

  4. dnt worry soonest you will get one…
    i am job hunting for a job that u shuld normally get without blinking
    i mean i av applied to ova 10 places bought diff app forms ranging from 1000-5000 naira
    yea its annoying but i think its just a phase
    you were even assessed and told u were boring
    in my own case in one of the places i applied to i paid 5000 naira for a photocopied A4 paper called a form…was asked to make 10 copies each of my credentials(i made it 10 per copy dat day no light) na 13 diferent documents make up my credentials…about 1300 just to photocopy
    n on d day of d interview all d panel of judges did was check d originals of my credentials and my dressing…not even pencil n a plain sheet to write nonsense down……they said dey will getback to me my dear im still waiting…..
    even d private hospitals where u tink u will get something to do r not ready to employ…dey dont wanna pay.
    yes im a doctor n most ppl believe its easy to get a job……
    sooner dan u think Ngor u will land a well paying job..
    cheers sister the best is yet to come

    • I’m sorry I’m actually laughing my heart out at this… “you were even assessed and told u were boring”!!
      The not so funny part is that you are a doctor! Yeah, the general belief is that you guys just snap your fingers and a job falls at your feet. This is terrible. But please sweetheart, I don’t think you should spend another dime buying any application forms. I think those are all scams honestly.
      This ya story is quite discouraging sha o… 🙁
      We better get that job soon abeg.

      • give me 2weeks..u ll hear my testimony…
        my dear its not scam datz wat d teaching hospitals do…especially in the southwest n southsouth region

        • Amen o! My dear, I had to ask a friend and he says it’s true for teaching hospitals… smh… I don’t blame them. Mtcheeew…

          • gozieeeeee! finally. you had us worried. we thot you had embarked on that long trek to Italy thru the Sahara Desert. a few comments:
            1. ‘job-hunting website’ – and i thought this was a place to meet chicks. smh.
            2. you; BORING?? – you should have shown him your boobs. That usually results in a paradigm shift for many.
            3. the correct answer to that question is “it’s the second best thing to do with your mouth”. everyone knows that.
            4. anyway don’t blame that silly interviewer. he was just unbalanced by your seductive ovaries all in his face. he wants you. i can tell.
            5. as for the MSc chick: why are you hating?! her Masters is not in Microsoft; hers is in…. well, don’t ask me; ask Monica Lewinsky.
            6. ….and in answer to your question: yes, I am.

          • Catherine, you need help…
            1. To meet chicks, go to http://www.swingtheotherway.com 😉
            2. Erm… honey, I’m no Pamela Anderson o… so the titty flashing wouldn’t have gotten me anywhere.
            3. Speaking of Monica Lewinsky…
            5. I’m not hating at all o! I was mocking…
            6. If the question is whether you are alright, then your answer is wrong I’m afraid… 🙁

    • babe, i totally get you. people think we just sleep at home and get calls from hospitals begging us to come and work for them. all i see is mom and pop clinics wanting you to work long hours for sh**ty pay. and the larger private hospitals are just plain greedy. as for government job….i think the eye of the needle is an easier challenge. smh.

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