E.T. phone home?

Hello people…

My weekend isn’t going as planned. After a long, somewhat depressing week, I had planned to go buck wild this weekend. I was going to call up my slutty friend so that we would get up to no good and paint the town red, maybe even wake up in the police station Monday morning. It’s not happening. And so far, it has been one very slow weekend.

I did something drastic today… I cut my hair.

Some of you who know me well enough know that I didn’t have much hair to begin with. Still, I went ahead and cut it. I was in the salon trying to get my hair done when suddenly, the spirit that befell Britney Spears came upon me and possessed me to cut my hair. The hair dresser thought I had gone mad so she called her manager who came to ask if I had mistakenly inhaled some expired hair spray. I said no. I insisted, so they cut it.

So now I look like a pretty mechanic-slash-carpenter, and the true extra-terrestrial shape of my head has been exposed for the world to see. I don’t regret it though… at least not yet. Maybe I will start having regrets when the kids in my neighbourhood hand me a cell phone and ask, “Does E.T. wanna phone home?”

I’ve got enough food in the fridge, fuel in the gen and batteries in my dildo so I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere important for the next few days. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, you can’t imagine how divine it feels to be able to just stand under the shower and let the water run over my head….

Ok, I lied.

Let me rephrase:

You can’t imagine how divine it is to be able to pour water over my head when I’m taking a bath with a bucket. 🙁

You see, where I stay, I can’t take showers because the water that runs from the taps has all the colours of the rainbow and then some. It’s like an advert for a yet-undiscovered type of skin disease. Call me crazy, but I like to know exactly where all my kraw kraw is coming from.

Are you guys as excited as I am about tomorrow’s match? I’ve decided to overcome the psychological damage I suffered the last time I watched a finals match and I will watch this one. I’m optimistic that we’re bringing home the trophy!!!

May Lionel Messi the God of football be with us. Amen…

5 thoughts on “E.T. phone home?

    • African Queen? Nah… more like African king prince boy
      In short, I’m just a man with a nice ass 🙁
      I’m so upset with myself. Don’t know what I was thinking. Now I gotta go see someone tomorrow. Is it this TuFace head I will carry there? Don’t know whether to buy a hat or quickly fix my hair before tomorrow. AAaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!

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