Drop it like it’s haaawt…

Good morning people… 🙁

It’s bright and early Monday morning and I’m already having one of those days. I got beaten by rain and ended up getting to work more than one hour late… I switched on my system and emails started dropping like dead flies.

Now I have a ton of work that needs to be done and I don’t even know where to begin. So I’ve done what I sometimes do when I’m overwhelmed… I’ve shoved everything under my desk to be dealt with later. Maybe by the time I’m done writing this post, I’ll be fine. Or at least ok enough to face these emails.

I wanted to tell you guys about something I did recently. I should have given you the gist earlier but based on the reactions of two of my guy friends, I decided against it because I felt you might judge me. But then, a funny thing happened in the office so I figured that I might as well tell you.

Ok, so erm… early this month I erm… I paid for Pole Dancing classes.

*awkward silence*

(._. )  (._.)  ( ._.)

Yes, I said Pole Dancing.

I didn’t tell anyone at first… I went for my first class two weeks ago and I had a FAN.TASTIC time! My dance instructor is a girl named Tara who doesn’t have any bones and can do amazing things on a pole. Maybe because I joke about dancing on poles a lot, or maybe my great-great-grandmother got on a slave ship to the US and she became a world famous pole dancer and I inherited her genes… whatever the case, it didn’t take me long to get the hang of a lot of the moves. Tara said I’m a natural 😀 (and I don’t care if you think she was paid to say that).

So far, I’ve learnt two routines which is cool when we’re dancing as a group, but she usually encourages us to freestyle when we’re dancing solo…

Only thing I really had trouble with was lifting cos I have zero upper body strength… she has to tie wraps of suya at the top of my pole and that is how I am able to lift myself up high enough to grab the suya and then slide down again… 😀

I’m kidding… I don’t have to slide down after getting the suya. I just hang up there and eat it ( ._.)

Anyway, I got back home with a few bruised ribs and at least one missing tooth but brethren, I cannot describe how good I felt. I was so happy I had to share it and that was when I told two of my guy friends. They were equally shocked but both wanted to know; “Of all the new and exciting things I could try out, why pole dancing?”

Truth is, I do not know… I thought it would be fun and that’s exactly what it turned out to be. We dance to incredibly loud music- mostly a lotta Beyonce and some old school R n’ B… Usher, Genuwine-  and there’s a plenty booty-snapping, ass popping and hair flipping involved. I’ve gone for three more classes since then and if I could afford it, I would go for more. I’m aiming for once or twice a week…

Have no fear people. If I’m gonna resign and become a stripper, you guys will be the first to hear of it.

Now let me tell you the thing that happened in the office…

Before I went to my first class, I had to print out the online voucher/receipt for the class. In my office, I’m not connected to any of the printers because it is not really my office. It’s my client’s office, I just work from there and report to my head office once in a while.

I saved the voucher in a flash and asked this nice guy if I could use his system to print it out. I told him that I did not want him to see what I was printing so he actually got up to give me privacy. I printed out my voucher, grabbed it while it was still rolling out of the printer and rushed off… I left the office quite early cos I didn’t wanna be late for my first class.

Next day, I showed up to work bruised and sore all over, but still on the high from my class… I guess the soreness made me a little slow cos my colleague asked what was wrong with me. I told him my back hurt and another middle aged lady some desks away from where I sit piped, “Eyah… sorry. Is it because of the strip dancing?”

Later, when I regained consciousness (I think I fainted from mortification), I asked her how she knew… she said that “they” saw the voucher in the printer. Apparently, I sent it to the demonic printer that has issues and prints out whatever number of copies of your document that the devils tells it to print. So, it was no secret that I went pole dancing… copies of my voucher were scattered around the office like a church program flyer.

She tried to make up of for the embarrassment by telling me that there was nothing to be ashamed of… how it is good exercise… and if she could she would blah blah blah…

*weeps*

I’m over it now… but I just wish she would STOP CALLING IT STRIP DANCING!!!

( ._.)

Have a wonderful week y’all.

 

 

12 thoughts on “Drop it like it’s haaawt…

    • Lol… no need. They will eventually get over it (I think… I hope). If you’re lucky, someone else will do something way more scandalous and you will no longer be the topic of the day 😉

  1. hahahahahaha laughing in alpha-numeric symbols…you sef how do you get yourself into these situations? abeg register for me jooor

    • I don’t know o… last week, my boss was complaining about paper and other resources. The secretary starting ranting and raving about how one day, she saw something I printed and it wasn’t company stuff and blah blah blah… I was so irritated.
      I printed out one sheet of something and all of a sudden it means the company is folding. Mshceeeeeew…
      Anyway, when I get money, that’s the first thing I’m paying for; more classes 😀

  2. hahahahahaha laughing in alpha-numeric symbols…you sef how do you get yourself into these situations? abeg register for me jooor idey your back 😉

    • My dear, I don’t know o… last week, our secretary was complaining about how we waste the company’s resources. My boss was arguing with her, and from nowhere she started ranting and raving about how one day, she saw something Ngozi printed out and how it was not an official document and blah blah blah. Mscheeeeeeeew…
      I printed out ONE sheet of something and all of a sudden it means the company is folding up… smh.
      Anyway, when I get money, that’s the first thing I’m buying; more classes 😀

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