CSI Miami Season 11… spoiler alert!

Good morning people!!!

Something odd happened to me recently and I decided to share it with you guys. Before I do that though, I need you guys to think about something…

Imagine that someone walked up to you and shot you in the back of your head, killing you (God forbid). The shooter was masked so you didn’t see him and you don’t know who killed you, but it is your duty to show up as a ghost to give answers to the people you left behind. I don’t know about you guys, but as a ghost, I would have to appear to my sister. I woulda said my mum, but if I appeared to her as a ghost, she might yell at me for getting shot in the first place and getting blood stains on the expensive blouse she got me ( ._.)

So anyway, let’s say I lived in Miami at the time of this shooting and Lieutenant Horatio and Detective Calleigh (the CSI Miami people) are the ones who have to investigate the murder. They would have to ask my sister some questions and one of the first questions they would ask is, “Who do you think might want to harm this sexy beast your sister?”

Ideally my ghost should’ve already given my sister a list of all the possible suspects, including reasons why they might want me dead. The list would have;

– One or two or eight exes…

– Two frenemies…

– My former security guy… I had to fire the idiot some time ago.

– The Chicken Republic sausage roll seller that I was rude to a few weeks ago… why couldn’t she get off her lazy ass to get me change??

– People I owe money ( ._.)

– My dealer (who can also fall under ‘People I owe money’)

And maybe a few other names here and there, but that’s it. Horatio would then use this list to find my killer and the case would be closed!

But I realized recently, that I have no clue as to how long that list really is! I used to think that I treat people well (more or less). I don’t bang people’s husbands, I don’t mess with other people’s boyfriends (knowingly), I pay back money that I owe (except to my siblings) and I say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’. It sounds stupid, but I actually believed that I knew (almost) everybody that I had ever offended in one way or another. You would think that with all the Africa Magic movies I have watched that I would know better right?

Wrong!

So I have this friend… very vindictive and spiteful woman, but she has her good sides and she’s really not a bad person. Some weeks ago, I fell into a trap she had apparently set for me a long time ago! I’m sorry that I can’t say exactly what she did, but I imagine that it must have been fun for her, looking into her cauldron and watching me fumble. Thank God I know her well, and I know how she operates so it didn’t take me long to realize that I was the victim of one of her revenge plots…  so I was able to save myself and I got out quickly, before she got to the fun part. And it wasn’t just that she was trying to get back at me for something, it was the humiliating way she tried to do it! So much time and patience must have gone into setting that trap.

Yeah, initially, I was hurt and I spent all of three minutes wondering what the hell I did to deserve such evil from her and when I did it (we haven’t seen in years!). But I’m over it now. I don’t care anymore…

However, the whole episode really got me thinking;

How many other people out there hate me because of something I knowingly/unknowingly did to them?

Is there enough paper in this world to list the number of people who want me dead?

If I was being electrocuted by a naked wire, how many people would turn off the circuit breaker and how many would plug their phones to my body to charge?

Do you think the producers will let me come back to life and become a recurring cast member in CSI Miami Season 11?

( ._.)

I suggest that you guys review your own ghost list… there might be some names that belong there that you don’t know about. Please, don’t wait till you get shot.

As you were.

12 thoughts on “CSI Miami Season 11… spoiler alert!

  1. Wickedness in every corner but we thank God u escaped in time. Really don’t care who wants to shoot me in the back… but if u wronged someone all u have to do is apologize.. what ever they want to do after that is their F!@##$$ng business.
    on a lighter note.. That woman na winch!

    • Then what of when you wrong someone and the person points it out to you… but because you feel you did nothing wrong, you offer no apology? Is it still the person’s fucking business what they do?

      On a lighter note, yeah, she be winch, but whatever. I’m very willing to let it go, but to be on the safe side, she best stay the hell away from me. Winch pass winch…

  2. Make your peace if you know for sure that you’ve wronged someone, it gives you peace of mind (a clear conscience) and helps the person come to terms with the offense.
    If it’s only in the person’s opinion that you’ve wronged her/him and you don’t feel the same way, an apology doesn’t cost you anything, and you don’t have to keep looking behind your back each time the person crosses your mind 😉
    On another note though, waiting with bated breath for your novels/works of fiction when you decide to begin to write and publish.

  3. That’s gonna be a long list for me!!!! I’d rather not………….. I’ll just lay my wrongs at the foot of the cross

    • LMAO!!! The first on the list will be that cab guy from outside Everyday Supermarket… the one that charged us 1,500 Naira. I remembered that thing today and started laughing like a mad woman all over again!!!!
      We’ve got your back babes… they can’t fit try it!

  4. Na, imma good man, My list is not that long.
    Maybe 4 exes
    2 workers who I turned down their request for a casual leave
    The one I told to stop bringing her baby to work
    The people that owe me money
    The bike man who brought me home yday. (Long story)

    On second thought, I think I’d just stay in today.

    • LMAO! Your list is nowhere near complete…
      And don’t forget the welder next door… he might want to expand his business and he might need your place for office space…

  5. Mehn! There’s no point keeping such a list sef. Some people are upset just because you are alive. They’ll hate because you bought new shoes. They’ll loathe you because of your cambodian hair and flat chest. Infact just because you are you, they’ll be offended. Infact you’ll be hated for being good, hated for being naughty. I’ve not even started talking about the council of witches from my village (whom I’ve never met ) but still just beef me, O minus the Devil himself…infact thank God for the blood of Jesus – all round Odeishi!

    • LMAO @Cambodian hair and flat chest!!!
      My dear, even as I was writing the post, I marveled at my own stupidity because I know this already… I probably just needed a reminder.
      As for the council of witches, their own case is something else entirely!! Like you said, thank God for the all round odeishi (seriously)… *smh*

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