Hello beautiful people…
Hope you guys are doing great. Today has started off horribly and my group head has been yelling at me non-stop. My supervisor keeps rubbing my back and telling me “well done”. I can tell she’s afraid I’m going to flip and say something to our group head that we will all regret… but, the truth is, I’m fine. Yeah, I’m kinda irritated by all the yelling cos of the sprays of spittle that come with it (these are evil Ebola times ya know), but really I’m fine because I’m celebrating something today.
Today is my work birthday!!!
*waits for applause to die down*
Exactly one year ago today, I officially started work here. I wish I could say that it feels like yesterday, but it doesn’t… it feels like 7 and a half years ago. In that time, I have grown two strands of grey hair on my head and countless more strands on erm… other places. To be honest, it has been an incredibly tough year, especially the last few months.
Still, I am grateful to God that even with all the trouble (the ones I caused knowingly and unknowingly), I wasn’t sacked. I’m grateful for the friends I made in my former clients office. And, most of all, I’m proud of myself for not giving up when things were at their worst. Did I learn any new thing about myself? Probably not… there isn’t much I didn’t already know before I started work here.
There are, however, a few lessons I learnt the hard way about work/office life;
- When you are on the phone with a colleague, always assume you are on speaker. That way, no matter how angry you are, you won’t call the company accountant a daft tuber of yam ( ._.)
- Be publicly hard-working… focus on the jobs that will get you recognition. It is more important to appear to be doing work than to actually be working. Clutter your desk with files… put up sticky notes with meaningless HR quotes… loosen your tie and roll up your sleeves and no one will suspect you are on Jumia or LindaIkeji.
- Everyone is a suspect. Nevertheless, when your pastor commands you to pray for your enemies to fall and die, do not show up to work on Monday morning to start asking people, “Ahn ahn! Are you still here?”
- Document everything! If your colleague tells you about a change in plans, send a mail so that he/she can confirm it in writing. If your boss sneezes, send her a mail to say “Bless you”… if your colleague mistakenly sends you nudes, document it. Document! Document! Document!
- Wherever two or three Yoruba people are gathered and you are in their midst, don’t be naïve: the answer is yes, they are talking about you.
I think those are the most important ones… I’m still learning lesson No.4 though.
Meanwhile, I didn’t gist you guys about something good that happened at work last month. I was going to write about it but then I changed my mind cos I don’t want you guys to start liking my company. Anyway, last month, we had another appraisal and because of how terrible my last two appraisals were, I was not excited at all. In fact, I was scared. But this one was different. At the end of it, one of my ogas complained that I have a habit of scoring myself ridiculously low in some areas where she felt I did ok. She even sent me back twice to fill the appraisal form again. By the time we were done with the first and second levels, my performance (on paper) was waaaay better and I was no longer scoring lower than ManU. Add to that some commendations from a few team leads (who apparently think I am “hardworking”)and voila! I received a promotion… And it was a promotion that came with a 50% salary increase! ( ._.) Yaay me!
Anyway, I gotta go. I started this post in the morning but I haven’t sat my ass down for five minutes straight since then. Now the day is over… *sigh*
Happy birthday Work-Ngozi!!! And congrats on the promotion…
As for you guys, I wish you all an amazing new month!