An article on Workplace Etiquette

Good morning beautiful people…

Yeah, it’s been a long while. Forgive me  ( ._.)  I guess time hasn’t permitted me to write much in this past one month. And it’s not because I haven’t had anything to say o. I’ve had lots to say.

I’ve been doing just fine… same old same old; work, sleep, eat, eat, eat again and church. Only thing is, I don’t know why, but I’ve been fighting with my friends a lot this period. Not serious fights like physical fights or shouting matches, but it’s enough to make me question my sanity. And the fights are usually as a result of my jealousy… I’m a very jealous person. I get irrationally jealous over my friends and it’s even worse with love interests or guys I like. And it’s silly because I know I’m not the only friend they have… but I feel weird when friends tell me about how much fun they had the time they went bungee jumping or sky diving or wine tasting with their other friends. I always feel so left out.

I listen, and I even enjoy the stories but in my mind, I’m sitting there thinking; I’m your friend aren’t I? I can bungee jump can’t I? I drink wine, drinkn’t I? So why didn’t I get to go???

:’(

Even as I write this, I realize how foolish I must sound… but luckily for us, the fear of sounding foolish has never stopped me right? 😉

It’s still early in the week and I’m already exhausted. I’m more mentally tired than physically tired. We had a training at work over the weekend- all day Saturday and most of Sunday. As painful as it was to have no weekend, the training wasn’t so bad. I had planned to show up late on both days, squeeze my face and look bored throughout the training. Depending on the facilitator, I was also going to chew gum loudly, like a part-time hooker, but, like I said, the training turned out to be ok. There was no need for my planned rebellion.

I even participated… I took part in group activities and answered questions and stuff 😀

Occasionally, my MD organizes these forums or strategy sessions where he or someone else stands in front of us and gives us a really loooong talk about HR Consulting tinz. And they don’t just talk out of their asses… these men (and a woman one time) actually know their shit. By the time they are done, you are either left feeling like you can take on the world, or you are left thinking about your failed life and in what direction it’s going…

Meanwhile, I picked up a Leave Request Form last week… it has been sitting on my desk because, even though I know I  need a break, even though I can feel myself going insane sometimes, the fact is that I have no idea what I’m going to do with 10 free days! Ideas anyone? Anything that doesn’t involve money?

Also, I have a presentation to give this morning. I have to talk to everyone in my department… almost 60 people! I’m nervous as hell partly because I’m not ready. Being the procrastinator that I am, I left everything till the last minute. Then I stayed up all night to work on my slides but somehow I ended up on random websites about weight-loss, relationships, food and sexual harassment in the workplace.

I’ve never spoken in front of my colleagues before because I’ve always managed to avoid it. I can stand before hundreds of candidates and talk to them. I do that almost every week and it doesn’t shake me, but this Knowledge Sharing Session in front of my colleagues is scary. And the topic is very uninteresting.

You see, after our appraisals in September, we were each given a topic to discuss. Management thinks we don’t know, but we kinda figured out that every employee was assigned a topic based on the area(s) where their line managers think they need improvement.

So, for example, the Lone Ranger who likes to work from dark corners and never shares information unless you force it out of him at gun point had to give a talk on Team Work and Team Building.

You get the drill right? That’s how it’s being done.

As for me, my topic is Workplace Etiquette ( ._.)

They said I swear too much and crack offensive and inappropriate jokes. Can you imagine?! What’s the point of a joke if it’s not offensive and inappropriate?? ( ._.)

And the annoying thing is, it’s not 100% true… it wasn’t even a suggested area for improvement during my appraisal. I have never walked up to my boss/group head and asked her, “Hey ma… what did the cock say to the farmer who was holding a hoe?” Those kinds of jokes are reserved for my peers only, but what would’ve been my topic (Going The Extra Mile) was already taken by someone else so the staff support girl picked this one cos she thought it would be fun. I’m not having any fun cos it’s a boring ass topic!!

I have to go now. I’m sorry this post is jaga jaga like this… Wish me luck. Maybe I’ll tell you about it when I’m done.

See you guys soon.

*kisses*

12 Comments

  1. What did the cock say to the farmer who was holding a hoe?

    I’m, for some weird reason, interested in knowing the answer.

    Oh, and Good luck in your presentation. Kick Ass. Not literally, seeing as.. You know what? Never mind.

    • LOL! Don’t mind me Adonye… I don’t even know. I just made that up. If you come up with a witty answer, please let me know…
      My presentation was awesome!! I didn’t complete my slides, but they didn’t even notice 😀
      Thank you 😉

  2. Hahahahaha. you alwys crack me up gurl.what month were you born please?feel like i know you well already.cant wait to get the presentation feedback abeg.Hahahahaha and yea gud luck.*winks*

    • Lol… thanks dear. I was born on 1st July o.
      Meanwhile, the presentation was great! I didn’t gbagaun and people have been complimenting me. It is shacking me seriously… (^-^)

  3. Am sure the presentation was really good. I thought etiquette was spelt “air ticket”. shiii!

  4. Hi Ngozi,
    I found your blog via TNC, haven’t stopped laughing. Well done.

  5. I’ve read 96% of your blog posts in the last few weeks and I enjoyed every one of them.
    You are an interesting person, I must say…

    • Bhet… what about the remaining 4%? :'(
      I’m kidding. 96% is too much BS for one person to take in at once.
      Thank you Topazo!

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