Hello beautiful people…
I’m ill :'(
I woke up feeling terrible on Saturday morning so I did what I do best; I self-medicated on painkillers and Lucozade Boost. I even missed church on Sunday. I dragged myself to work yesterday even though I still felt like shit and finally, today, I landed in the hospital early this morning, weak and bra-less.
I was lying down, half dead on the hospital bed and all I could think about was how to gist you guys what was going on. My whole body hurt, but my thumb was just fine. I could still swipe with it so typing out a blog post wouldn’t be hard. I just didn’t know if it was possible to send out a post with my phone.
The doctor came and I didn’t wait for my guy to land… I started confessing. See, I watch a lot of CI (Crime and Investigation) and ID (Investigation Discovery). I know how these things work. It’s not during my autopsy that the medical examiner will discover that it was the amala-ewedu-stew-Snapp-Ibuprofen combo I had on Saturday that killed me… so I told him everything. l told him about the amount of painkillers I’d been taking, told him about the coughing, the nausea, everything! He didn’t look like he was judging me… or maybe he was judging me in his mind. I don’t know.
The blood guy was asleep when I got to the lab so they had to shake him hard to wake up and take my blood for testing. He asked for a few seconds to get himself fully awake. That was fine by me… I told him to take as long as he needed. Better safe than sorry abi? Plus I could see that he was really tired. He walked out of the room, came back less than a minute later and the niggah still pricked my thumb three times to get blood… THREE!!!
I asked him how many pricks it would’ve taken if the sleep was still in his eye… Na im be say e for cut plus my big toe join. He didn’t laugh at my joke because nobody likes a wiseass ( ._.) He said he did it like that because he didn’t want to go in too deep and hurt me (words no celibate woman wants to be hearing).
I ended up in a tiny air conditioned room and then someone, who I think was probably sent from God, came in and injected me with what I now believe, is the answer to world peace. I don’t know what was in that thing, but it made me sleeeeeeeeep for hours and it took all the pain away. One dose of that magic injection and suddenlyyyyyy life had new meaning to meeee! And there is beauty up above… and things I never take notice of…
Wake up, suddenly…
And hear that test results show I have Malaria and a chest infection :’(
After that, they sent me away with a Ghana-must-go bag full of tablets and syrup that I’ve already flung to a corner of my room. I’ve never seen this suspicious-looking brand of Malaria tablets before. Why couldn’t they just give me some more of the thing in the injection??? Why don’t they want world peace??
Anyway, on my way home, to celebrate my HIV-negativity, I stopped over at Cold Stone to get some ice cream. I’m home now and I’m feeling much better. I’m just excited that I survived the trip to the hospital… Notin do me!
Hope you are having a great week so far :-* :-*
As you were…