Good morning beautiful people!!
I started this post on Monday, in the middle of a very intense argument in my office… it was the Buharists against the Jonahs again. Thankfully, I had my earphones plugged in. The last time there was an argument, I didn’t have any means of escape and I just sat at my desk, contemplating stabbing my throat with the blunt end of my eye pencil. I couldn’t work because their voices were so loud and in a matter of seconds, other people joined in the shouting. It was raining spit in the office and the APC person and PDP person didn’t speak to each other for the rest of that day.
The arguments are becoming more frequent, more heated… it’s everywhere you go. And it’s funny because I don’t remember this much noise the last time we had presidential elections. Most likely, it’s because I was serving in Rivers state at the time and there was no doubt who the entire state was going to vote for. NYSC had made it compulsory for corpers to serve as INEC officials but I didn’t go. I didn’t attend the INEC training in camp and I certainly didn’t go to the hell-hole I was posted to for elections. It was one of those villages that you had to get to by boat… like a 20 minutes boat ride.
No doubt, I would’ve gotten impatient with those villagers who couldn’t follow simple instructions and I would’ve probably played the role of “patriotic, upright and incorruptible corper, who stands for free and fair elections”. Election thugs dem for beat shege plus patriotism commot for my body. That’s why I didn’t bother from day one.
Some guy friends I made in camp had different experiences though; one got beaten up badly in a small town just outside PH for not sharing the ballots equally among PDP and APC. He spent a night in the hospital. Two other guys who got posted to the same place (the centre of PH) got 200k each for their full cooperation with one party. They guys bought new phones, new laptops and had a small bash after elections. That was the first time I had Smirnoff Vodka ( ._.)
Anyway, I am not going to vote. I registered at home, near my house in Warri, so there’s no way in hell I’m going all the way to Delta state just to get my PVC. The truth is, even if there was a PVC collection centre in my kitchen right here in Lagos, I still wouldn’t vote.
My reason is that there’s no one to vote for. We are stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea.
In a country with a population of plenty plenty million billion people, sadly we’ve narrowed down our options to two very depressing choices. One is the definition of incompetence who I suspect has nothing but warm custard in his head. Na Nigeria ‘im wan use take learn the work. The thought of the other candidate sickens me. It baffles me how we have fallen so low to the point where we are recycling candidates and leaders. Who in the hell runs for president with one foot in the grave?? I can’t even bring myself to listen to the trash he claims to offer cos I’m wondering; why didn’t he offer it before WHEN HE WAS IN POWER???
As I write this, I’m thinking that it might too late now, but we probably should’ve looked at other candidates from other parties… I know of one woman who’s running for president. She was on Twitter answering questions a couple of weeks ago, but I don’t even remember her name. I have no idea who the other contestants are. At this rate, if a packet of noodles decides to contest, I will most likely vote that chicken-flavour noodles than vote bros Jonah or papa Buhari.
Have a lovely day people.