Before we start, if you hear your name, please report to the Principal’s office immediately;
Good morning people!!!
Yesterday didn’t go exactly how I hoped it would… at the end of the day, I got home exhausted and my friend made me dinner (even though she was just as tired). I stayed awake only long enough to eat before passing out on the living room couch.
You remember that company I told you guys about? The one owned by a family friend, where they serve free food for lunch? Yeah, so I got dressed and went there yesterday. The plan was to walk in (like a boss) and demanded to see the head nigga in charge… but I knew that the receptionist would never allow me if I did that, especially without an appointment. The lady at the front desk was being a bit difficult (classic Receptionist 101 behavior). I tried to explain that although I didn’t have an appointment, I was sure he would like to see me. All she had to do, was pick up the phone, call him and ask. She said no.
I thought of pulling the fire alarm and causing a distraction so that I could sneak in while everyone else was running out. Then it occurred to me that (1) the guy I was trying to see would be one of the first to run out of the building and (2) there was no fire alarm.
So I changed my mind and asked to see my friend who works there instead. After I didn’t show up on Tuesday, she sent me a few death threats and promised to circumcise me without anesthesia if I didn’t come and see her director the next day… the receptionist had no problems with that and I was led to my friend’s office. My friend had to make a few calls to find out exactly where her director was. Turned out that the dude had gone out and no one knew when he was coming back!!
At that point, I almost left… that’s how pathetic I can be. A big part of me was relieved that he wasn’t in so that I wouldn’t have to see him. I wanted to score myself a ‘B+’ for effort and then turn around and walk out of the building. But I stayed.
I ended up waiting several hours in the receptionist’s office cos I didn’t wanna bug my friend while she was working. While I waited, I chatted with the receptionist… we talked about her family and kids, her village and work in general. Then I read my novel, took a short nap (and somehow managed not to drool all over my nice shirt), ate 100naira worth of boiled groundnuts, took a stroll around the company premises and wrote a short fiction piece in my jotter. Then I went back to my friend’s office to say hi (again), went to the bathroom to fix my make-up and back to the receptionist’s office.
Finally, “Chief” came back at the close of work. By this time, my morale was disgustingly low… I was tired and hungry (before you judge me, groundnut is not food). The receptionist called and then let me go in. Chief was on the balcony of his office, smoking a Cuban cigar cos, you know, REAL BOSS NIGGAZ DO REAL BOSS THINGS!!!!
When I saw him, I did what I always do whenever I meet someone from the past who might not recognize me. I gave him my best I-hear-I-look-exactly-like-my-mother-when-I-smile-like-this smile. It worked, because he recognized me almost immediately. He looked at me and said, “Ah! Charity’s daughter!”
It was nice catching up though… he asked me a billion questions; asked about my folks, my siblings, life etc. He wanted to know everything! And he made me feel at ease. There was no awkwardness at all. And he didn’t bite my head off.
Long story short, he basically told me that my Biochemistry degree is useless to him. He doesn’t have a place for me in his company. He needs Engineers instead. He reminded me of how good I was with numbers when I was little… so why didn’t I study Engineering or become an accountant? I wanted to tell him that I’ve banged a few engineers in the past… does that count? 😀
Anyway, he promised to look out for something for me. It’s the kind of promise I’ve heard a million times before but we’ll see how things go. I can’t exactly say it was a total waste of time… at least I tried right? And I’m going to try somewhere else tomorrow as well.
Nevertheless, for telling me to go and for making me miss two episodes of The Simpsons, I would like to see the above mentioned people in my office IMMEDIATELY!