080-B-O-O-T-Y-C-A-L-L

Good morning wonderful people!!!

I have work to do so I don’t know why I’m here… I’m soooo excited because I’m starting leave again on Monday. I had 10 leave days remaining from last year and after a tough, bloody battle with HR, my leave was finally approved. I was only given 5 days, but it’s better than nothing at all. Meanwhile, I have zero plans for the leave o. Smh…

It’s that time of year again and people are already so worked up! I hear girls are texting random exes and giving false hope to previously friend-zoned boys. No one wants to be alone tomorrow. And as usual, hearts will break…  Me, I love love, but I think whatever Valentine spirit I used to have in me is now dead. Hopefully, someday it will resurrect whenever I fall in love again, but for now, it’s just another day in the year.

Last year’s Val’s day was quite eventful, but not for me. I was still in my former client’s office and all the women got roses, cakes and gifts from their husbands, boyfriends, sugar daddies, toasters, friends-with-benefitors etc. It was interesting to watch, plus I got a lot of second-hand cake and chocolate handed down to me from my friend 😀

Don’t judge me… I have no shame.

A week before Val’s day, the guy I was sorta seeing then asked me what plans I had on the 15^th. I was confused because I thought, who makes plans for February 15^th?? What if it’s a trick? What if he’s planning a surprise? What if Stella Oduah thought she was paying for two Batmobiles? What if? What if?! What if?! Unfortunately, we had a fight some days before Val’s day and because I’m familiar with the fight-before-Val’s-day technique, I promptly discarded all those ‘what if?’ thoughts, got new batteries and resigned myself to having a romantic night with my dildo. I didn’t expect anything so I wasn’t disappointed.

The traffic report that day was grim so I chilled in the office till 9:00pm and still spent close to two hours in traffic on the way home. By the time I got home, I was too exhausted to do any effective and productive wanking so I slept. Basically, there was absolutely nothing spectacular about the day… but I was fine. Honestly. I wasn’t sad or depressed or anything. It was just one of those things. Me and the guy weren’t exactly dating, we weren’t official so it was all good.

Saturday the 15^th was when I had a problem. I don’t remember what kind of day the 15^th was but very late at night I was in bed, about to sleep, when I got a Whatsapp message from this dude. It started out innocently enough, till he mentioned that he was in the neighborhood, on his way back from an event. Can he come over?

I had mixed emotions, but what I felt most was cold-water-poured-over-my-body type of shock. Baba God, I asked, na me be dis? I sat up and stared at the screen for a long moment to make sure I was reading the words right.

Thank God for experience though… we’ve been there, done that. We have PhDs in this game. Plus we have gold medals for long jumping into conclusions. My theory was that this dude probably spent Val’s day with someone else. Knowing him, he splurged… went all out to impress whoever she was. The celebration continued on Saturday, they went to the party and when it was over, she sent him home with a kiss on his cheek and a pair of blue hairy balls.

That’s how he ended up on Whatsapp, chatting with me and because I’m such a nice, sweet girl 😉  I continued to chat with him. I figured that the party he attended was the same thing he had invited me to for the 15^th. I asked him and he said, yes, it was the same thing. I asked how it went and he said it was really nice, he had a lot of fun. It wasn’t long before he wrote that he was outside my house… dude wasn’t kidding when he said he was in my neighborhood.

I was in a dilemma. It was 11:30pm and he was outside.  There were only two options;

1. I could go out and let him in. We would have wild animalistic sex, sleep and make breakfast together in the morning. But then I would hate myself later.
2. The second choice was to talk to him about my feelings, tell him that I felt terribly disrespected and let him down gently.

The knocking at the gate was getting louder and more frequent so I picked option three: I turned over and slept like a baby.

Happy Val’s Day guys… please don’t hurt anyone :-*